"R U Ok?" (Now what do I say next?)

R U Ok day is all about taking the time to check in with people around us.  Here are some thoughts about how to start or have those conversations; 

  • Think about what you have observed that has you feel concerned and start there. “You look a little tired lately and I know you’ve got a lot on… How are you travelling?”
  • Most people have at least 3 conversations before they decide to seek help. Even if you don’t see it right now, your care has made a difference.
  • The most important moments often come after a silence. Don’t feel you have to fill it.  Being there is enough.
  • Telling someone you are struggling takes courage. “Hey... Thanks for telling me” is powerful even if we aren’t sure yet what will come next.
  • Remember that it is not up to you to give advice or ‘fix’ anything. “How can I most help?”  is a good start.
  • Don’t put yourself under pressure to have the conversation go perfectly.  We like to think it is more like two people talking on a park bench than anyone needing to have a red cape. It’s something we can all do…
  • R U Ok?  is also a good reminder to check in with ourselves. When low mood feels common, sleep is tough or worry is making more than a ‘cameo appearance’ in your self talk, supports are closer than you think.
  • Remember there is EAP, GPs, crisis lines, lifestyle options, online information, self help, internal supports…  Offer to help get them any further information.
  • Even if there are not any clear ways forward, ask if it is okay if you check in again soon. 

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